No One Mourns the Wicked
by Claire Jefferson
Summary: Spoilers for season 8 Meg episode. This does not take place afterward, it's before and during. We forget sometimes, don't we, that Meg is posessing someone. There is a girl in there, probably scared and trying to fight her way out. Or maybe she isnt. Maybe, just maybe, she is the reason Meg survived for so long. And maybe this girl was there, all the way to the end.


**I realy liked Meg as a character, especially at the end. So I wanted to closure. I didn't, however, want an _after death _fic so I wrote a before one instead. I thought I'd like to introduce a new POV but I took it for a twist. So I hope you read this and enjoy it and then let me know how you like it. Thanks.**

* * *

She had plans, big plans. She was going to be an actress. The name _Emily Williams_ would be everywhere. She was going to rule Los Angeles. Emily was going to have fortune and fame. She had plans, big plans.

What she hadn't planned for was the dark alley. Emily hadn't planned for the two drunk bastards who smelt of cheap gin. She hadn't planned for the knife they held to her stomach, threatening back her screams.

"Please, no," she begged as she struggled; but the knife was there, a threat to silence her. She hadn't planned for a lot of things.

Least of all, Emily hadn't planned for Meg.

One second it had been fear that consumed her every thought with eyes squeezed shut. And then came the black smoke, an unfamiliar sensation, an excruciating pain, and then the feeling as if she was no longer in control of herself.

Because she wasn't.

Her body moved on its own accord—or at least, not on her command. The next thing she knew, the two would-be rape-and-murderers were dead. One with a snapped neck, and other by having his face repeatedly smashed into the concrete wall of the building. By her hands, but not instruction.

Her eyes moved and she saw, though it wasn't she who looked. She could see the knife sticking out of her stomach where it had been lodged. But she felt no pain, even as her hands pulled it out and dropped it on the alley ground. Her head swiveled from one side to another before her hands rested on her hips in an exasperated manner.

_How dumb can you be, a girl looking like you walking around in LA alone? What did you think was going to happen?_

And that is when she could see her. Feel her. The woman who wasn't a woman. The thing that had pushed her aside and taken control.

_What are you?_ Emily asked in panic, despite the fact she couldn't move her mouth. She felt like she was chained to a wall, just watching. She was in her body, deep down in there. But later she would learn she was just her soul at the moment. Her soul that formed to look like her body, and was chained down.

But the thing seemed to hear her anyway. _Meg_, she said in a steady voice, _I am Meg-just Meg._ And that was all she said before she began to walk out of the alley, leaving the two bodies behind. "And it is good to be back," she said out loud now and smiled Emily's red-lipstick lips.

Meg. I am Meg. The words played over and over and over in Emily's mind, like an old record.

* * *

Meg was out of options. She needed some way out of this hole she'd dug herself. Something. Anything. Leverage, protection, anything.

_So you'll pull some poor innocent man who is trying to help people into this? _Emily demanded unhappily.

Meg snorted as she pulled up to his house, parking just outside of it_. If I've heard of this guy, others have too. It's just a matter of time before someone comes knocking. Better me than Crowley._

_I still think what you're doing is wrong_, Emily informed her with a huff.

Meg rolled her eyes, keeping them trained on the house. _Good thing you don't have a say in this._

Emily didn't reply, just sulked silently in the dark. Meg smirked as she felt the girl try to wrestle with her chains again, trying to force the body back into her control. _After all this time, you know that fighting me is useless. Still, you do it anyway. When will you learn?_

Emily still remained silent though Meg could feel her coursing rage.

And then Emily stopped, as if shocked.

_Praise the creator!_ Meg sang mockingly. _Humans can learn!_

_Meg!_ Emily said like she was panicking, the tone of her thoughts made Meg snap to attention.

_ What?_

_Castiel_, she shouted in her head, the name ringing through every corner of thought.

Meg's eyes widened as she finally registered who—or rather what—she was looking at. The so called 'healer' Emanuel was Castiel, the Angel of Thursday. _Clarence?_

_He's alive!_ Emily shouted with unmasked delight.

Meg groaned. _He's an idiot. What does he think he's doing?_

_Making up for what he did?_

_ There are better ways he could help these idiots than being a miracle pill! _Meg snarled and sat back in her chair. _We'll keep our distance for now._

_You mean you'll keep your distance,_ Emily said bitterly._ I don't have a say in this, remember?_

* * *

It was another two weeks before Dean Winchester arrived. Meg would be lying if she said she wasn't relieved. At least this boy didn't have her on his hit list at the moment. She watched as he went to the house, knowing who was inside. She had been bidding her time, ready to grab the angel before he could return for the house. But the new arrival had made her pause.

Dean Winchester caught on quickly enough as to what had answered the door and quickly killed the demon. It made Meg wince as she watched the knife hit its target.

And judging by his reaction when he saw Castiel's face, he hadn't come looking for the angel. He was in search of Emanuel, the healer.

Meg decided laying low and following was the best plan. Until she watched the other demons follow Dean into the gas station.

_You have to save him!_ Emily begged.

_Why? _Meg demanded_. I don't need him. Castiel obviously doesn't remember who he is. I can take him and use him to save myself. I don't need either of the Winchesters._

_But they're your friends!_ Emily pushed, her desperation creeping into her voice. She began fighting for control again, to save Dean herself. To no avail.

_I don't have friends_, Meg laughed ill-humoredly.

_You won't if you let him die!_

Meg considered it for only a second before she was pushing herself out of the stolen car. She silently convinced herself it was because Dean would be useful. But she could feel Emily's smug smile.

* * *

_What's wrong with him?_ Emily asked calmly as Meg observed the angel.

_He's….he took the burden from Sam_, Meg told her, pointing out the obvious. _Idiot._

_Yeah, but if he still remembers everything…why is he acting like this?_

Meg glanced down at Castiel who was lining each chocoloate from his bag of M&Ms in a line by color on his table. He was putting each down so carefully that it made her want to bark out with laughter. He was like a child. The Winchesters had left again, leaving her to watch the mindless angel. _I don't know. _

_You don't care either. You like him like this, _Emily accused.

_Like him?_ That made Meg straightened up. _Why would I care? He's useless right now._

Emily scoffed_, Because he doesn't treat you like a demon right now. He treats you like a girl. Like a human girl that he has a crush on._

Meg frowned as she felt her cheeks heat up a bit. It was useless to lie to Emily. She couldn't read Meg's thoughts like she could hers, but she saw everything that Meg did. She was the only one who saw how often she watched Cas. How kind she was to him. _Shut up._

Meg hadn't always been a demon, she knew that. There were aspects of being human that she could remember. Flashes of memories that were incoherent, but reminded her of what emotions had been like. Of what love was and how bad it hurt. Of what betrayal was and how hot it burned. Of what loss was and how cold it froze your insides.

Sure, Meg still experienced anger and fear, but she could only remember things like caring. She knew that once she had been a human with all the emotions humans loved and hated. What she didn't know was that her name had once been Janette Anderson, a girl with a hard and tragic story. Not that it mattered; she was Meg now. She was a demon; an abomination with no way of reconciliation.

Emily, however, was a conversationalist. She was strange for a human girl. Sometimes, she stopped pulling on the shackles that kept her prisoner in her own body, and just talked to Meg.

_So, remind me again why you're staying with this guy?_

_ Castiel is my one protection from Crowley,_ Meg said calmly, eyeing the angel fondly. _He's also pretty cute._

Meg could feel Emily's smirk. _You know he's an angel, right? And you're a demon. I don't think he'd go for it…_

Cas chose that exact moment to turn to grin at Meg and show her a picture he'd drawn with crayons (perfectly like a master artist) of Meg, looking beautiful and smiling.

Meg raised her eyebrows at that, smiling at him and nodding as she took it. "Thanks Castiel. It's beautiful."

_ Okay, well in a right mind anyway, _Emily correct herself.

Meg snorted at that and went back to painting her nails with the black nail polish.

* * *

Meg was trembling. She was in so much pain, but at least the torture had stopped….for now. Crowley was coming back though. He was having fun. _Crazy bastard._

_ Meg we have to get out her here, _Emily begged, knowing Meg couldn't do anything.

_I'm sorry, _Meg whispered inside, so weak. _I'm sorry you had to be my vessel. As far as humans go, you're not so bad._

_ Well, as far as Demon's go…_Emily trailed off, as they could hear footsteps outside. _Hey, Meg, is it possible for you to give me control like you're in control right now?_

_ Yeah, why?_

_ Well you can't leave my body right now, Crowley made sure of that, but couldn't you put me in control so I felt the pain and not you? _Emily asked quietly.

_That isn't an option, _Meg sighed. Emily had talked to her the whole time during the torture, telling her things, asking her things, trying to help her deal with the pain. If Meg told Crowley where the crypts were…if she told him about the location of the tablet, it would all be over. She had to buy more time. She had to warn Sam Winchester. If he was alive.

_Why not? You're not going to last long like this._

Meg snorted, _because you know as much as I do about the crypts. We've talked about them. He would break you even faster than me. _

_ So we trade off._

It took Meg by surprise. _What?_

_ You're not a 'bad guy' you're on the right team. And that's worth protecting. So if I—if we have to deal with some pain, we'll do it. Besides, right now, you're at the breaking point. You have to deal with anymore pain and you'll spill everything._

Meg tensed as she heard familiar footsteps outside. _He's back._

_ Change with me now, _Emily commanded, pretending she wasn't terrified.

Meg hesitated for a moment. If Emily wanted, she could keep the control all to herself. She could cut a deal with Crowley. Maybe she'd rather be dead than be in the possession of a demon anyway. But Meg still found her fear winning over doubt, and she traded places to be the one in the shackles. _You know, of all the girls I could have possessed, I'm sorry it had to be you._

Emily gasped as she found herself in her own body again. She grinned slightly, even as her heart thudded with fear. _You're fighting for a cause now. Not like you used to be. You're not like other demons. So maybe I don't want to be controlled by a Demon…but I'm glad, of all the demons, it was you._

It was Meg's voice this time that was wrapping through the cracks to reach Emily's thoughts. _I'm sorry you never got to be an actress._

The door swung open and a familiar face showed through, grinning like a child on Christmas morning. "Meg," Crowley chortled, "I'm so excited for us to play today. I brought some wonderful new toys. It's going to be so much fun."

_You kidding? _Emily answered her, swallowing thickly. _I havn't lost my touch. _"Hello, Crowley," she said in her best Meg impersonation, grinning like she wasn't scared, "I was wondering what was taking you so long. I thought you might have forgotten all about me and our little play date. I hope there is no trouble."

"Oh, no, no, no," Crowley insisted but Emily could see from his eyes that something was happening, "nothing that you couldn't just quickly clear up for me."

"Is that so?" Emily raised a delicate eyebrow. "I'm happy to help an old friend."

Crowley sneered at that, doing his best to look not ticked off. It had been a hell of a week. It was going to be nice to relieve some stress. He almost hoped she wouldn't tell him everything right away.

He stared with knives again.

_Emily, _Meg grabbed her attention away from the pain, trying desperately to keep her focus on her voice. _Tell me about the stage in LA. Tell me about that stage you dreamed of performing on._

Emily did her best to bite back a scream as the blade ran across her skin. _You've read my memories. You know about it._

_ Tell me about it anyway,_ Meg insisted, not sure when she had started caring about this strange girl and when she had stopped just being a vessel. First the angel, then the boys, now this girl? Tell_ me about acting._

_ The stage was in a giant theatre in Los Angeles, _Emily started with tears running down her face.

* * *

Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. And soon, a year had passed. And Emily and Meg just kept trading off. Sometimes, one nearly broke, giving a snip of information. The other would be there to tag in, to redirect the attention so that they only knew partial things. They were doing their best.

Until one day the door opened and Meg looked up at the face that came, expecting Crowley, Naomi , someone, anyone but Cas, Dean, and Sam.

"Aren't you a little short for a storm trooper?" she asked as Dean stared at her with a dropped jaw.

* * *

"If you're referring to The Pizza Man, yes I remember The Pizza Man," Castiel said through shy eyelashes. "And it's a good memory."

Meg couldn't help but smile. A year worth of on and off torture could really bring you down. But finding out Castiel was alive. That Dean and Sam were still out to kick ass. That they had saved her. Well, it almost made it seem worth it.

_Okay, so even with normalness in his..noodle…Castiel has a major crush on you._

_ Yeah, it would appear so._

Emily chuckled. _Swap with me a second? I'd kill for a drink of something._

Meg didn't even hesitate or question it. She automatically readied to swap with the girl because a year of protecting each other could do that.

Meg stood, turning away from Cas and towards the bottle so when he looked at her he wouldn't notice the change. And then she let Emily go, just handed it over so easily.

_Thanks, _Emily said lazily, tugging the bottle to her lips. She tossed herself back onto the couch, still looking away from Castiel. She took a long swig of the alcohol and then a deep breath. It was nice to be so relaxed. She stretched out, noticing that the pain was still there. It made her scowl. _Wish Cas could heal us. Stupid demonic stuff._ Another swig. _Alright,_ she all but yawned, reaching for Meg to have the reins again. T_hat was all I wanted. _

Meg chuckled as she looked down at the bottle again. Once, Emily had been a helpless, terrified young girl. She had been scared of Meg. Emily was nothing like she had been long ago. Oh she was so different.

_So are you, _Emily snorted.

That was certain. Meg, like most demons, normally put the vessel on shut down. They couldn't speak, couldn't do anything. But for some reason, Meg had needed to hear another person from time to time. And their connection had changed Meg. There were times when it felt more like sharing a body than stealing it.

And Emily…Emily knew that Meg had prevented her death that night, so long ago in the alley. Maybe she hadn't done it for the right reason, but Meg had needed a body. Emily knew that if Meg were to leave her body, Emily would die. And at first, Emily had wanted to die rather than be worn around by a demon.

But then she had something unnatural, something that was never supposed to happen. She had started to care about the demon. Maybe it was Stockholm Syndrome. Maybe it was something else.

"You ever miss the apocalypse?" Meg found herself asking Castiel.

Castiel looked at her with a smile while his eyes looked confused. "No, why would I miss the end of times?"

Meg thought about Emily. Thought about everything she had done. "I miss the simplicity. I was bad, you were good….Life was easier. " She watched Castiel raise his head thoughtfully, turning his nose up like he was agreeing. "Now it's all so messy." She took another swig, enjoying the burn of alcohol. "I'm kinda good, which sucks. You're kinda bad which," she paused thoughtfully, "which is actually all manner of hot…"

Emily scoffed with amusement.

Castiel looked down at Meg, clearly a little proud and only slightly ashamed.

* * *

"You gunna talk us to death or get down to it already?" Meg asked Crowley with a distasteful look.

He indicated towards her with amusement. "There's my whore." His smile grew smug. He studied her for a moment, pleased with satisfaction at the way she flinched. "I'm here for the stone with the funny scribbles on it."

"That's not going to happen," Sam declared. So bold. So noble. So brave.

_This isn't going to end well, _Meg whispered in her head_._

_ I know, _Emily agreed.

"I love it when you get all tough," Crowley mocked him. "Touches me right where my bathing suit goes."

_Creep, _Emily snarled.

Meg had to agree.

_We need more time, Meg, _Emily was trying to think, her mind trying to come up with something, anything that had a decent outcome. But nothing did. Nothing, but one thing. _We don't have a choice…do we? Its them or you. Them or us. _

_ Shit, _Meg winced internally. _We've gotta.._

And then Crowley produced an Archangel blade like it was a magic wand.

It sent warning flags to Meg. She didn't even hesitate, not in the slightest. She turned to Sam. "Go, save your brother and," she paused to allow herself a smile, unable to feel anything but pride in the fact that she could admit it, even if it was just to Sam, "my unicorn."

Sam looked at her, right in the eyes, and she could tell that he understood. His eyes flashed with something like fear and pity. Not for himself. A hunter who cared about a demon…well that was something you didn't see every day. But then he turned and was gone, because there were more important things to worry about.

_I'm so sorry, Emily._

She expected something hateful from Emily. The girl had endured so much pain. She lost her life. Her future. Her body. All at the hands of Meg. And now she was going to die for her. Instead, however, she found a reply that struck her hard.

_Me too, Meg. I'm sorry you'll never get to be with him…_

_ It was never going to happen, anyway. _

_He loves you,_ Emily insisted.

"Timon and Pumbaa," Crowley said, smiling at his own wit, "tell you their big plan?" He was circling her like the vulture he was. "Did they share that little chestnut with you?"

Meg raised an eyebrow, encouraging the bastard to tell her what he was obviously dying to say.

"They mean to close the gates of hell, sweetheart," he said, knowing how it infuriated her when he called her that. "They mean to kill me and all the demons. You included."

_Meg? _Emily was hesitant and uncertain.

But Meg didn't hesitate for more than a second. Doesn't_ matter. I'd do the same thing. We're a nasty bunch, so we are. And just because I…just because one of them is a friend doesn't mean they have the right to let demons go free just to allow one to live. They're hunters. Obligations._

_ They're your friends. Getting done with all you're admitting at the end, huh?_

"You had me at 'kill you', Crowley," Meg positively beamed at the King of Hell.

And then he took a swing at her. "You bitch," he muttered with another swing.

Meg jumped out of the way, doing her best to buy them time. To buy _him_ time.

_Castiel. Castiel. Castiel. _She chanted in her head. It was the name that had gotten her through the torture. It was the one idea that made her thinking that maybe it was all worth it.

A few minutes later and she was on the ground. She was no match. She had known it from the start. But she would try. She would do whatever it took to stay alive just long enough.

_What comes after this?_ Emily asked, feeling very small. _What is there after death?_

_You're a good human girl. There is a beautiful, wonderful heaven for you, _Meg promised. _You'll be happy there. Happier there._

_What about you?_

There was no reply.

"I could beat on you for eternity," Crowley growled at her, holding her by her jacket.

She just grinned, covered in Emily's blood. "Take all the time you want, you pig." But then she could see the Winchester boys.

They looked at her, both with a forlorn look of complete loss. But she just smiled in return, giving Sam a knowing look that he understood. "No Cas in the back seat. Your stone is long gone," she told him, trying for one more swipe, only able to dig the blade into his shoulder. But if she hit him at all, it was worth it. He let out a yelp of pain, yanking it out.

And there was a moment where Meg and Emily both knew what was coming. Meg knew that in her last moment, she was a little happy she didn't have to go out alone.

_Demons can't die; not like this. They're not able to feel love. They can't care about others before themselves. And they definitely can't be martyrs. Not for hunters. And certainly not for angels._

_Well,_ Emily said with a small smile as she felt Meg's eyes well up with tears,_ since you're completely and totally in love with an angel, I guess that means you're not a demon, huh?_

_If I'm not a demon, what am I_? She wanted to know.

Emily smiled, her eyes shutting tight as she felt the impact of the blade into her body. Her real body. Like the first time they had met. They were dying in that split second and they both knew it. _Meg. You're Meg-just Meg_, Emily said before everything was silent. There was no more hurt. No more pain. Just darkness-and then light.

* * *

**So yeah. I know it wasn't like WOW but I really liked this one so you should let me know if you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading! :D Take care and try to survive until season 9! (BTW if you're a tumblr person find me : (writing-on-lifes-pages)**


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